Mouse problems

I hate my mouse.

I really miss my optical mouse on my mac. I never had a problem highlighting, opening/closing docs, or positioning a cursor.

Sadly I'm working again in a PC environment and I find myself trying to use function keys that open nothing and relying more on my mouse to guide through my desktop. I forgot how much I hated working with a mouse that constantly goes in the opposite direction you want it to go in. Truly frustrating. There must be something about these LogicTech mice that are prone to fucking up each time.

Here's another guy whose having problems with his mouse as well. An optical one to boot. I hate this f'in mouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

Don't get me started on my crappy recycled compaq monitor!

fem guy

There's this guy who sits a few cubes away from me who has the most annoying effeminate voice. He has to announce to the entire world that he's here otherwise he'll dissappear into fem boy land. I have no problem with adrogynous people--I was a big fan of "It's Pat" when it was on SNL.

I just find it annoying when you come into the office and hear blaring from the other side of the cube "Hi everyone! Guess who made it into work...me!"

Never understood why tigers at their young before till now.

Just a minor footnote: I've been seeing more news stories about people getting busted for revealing information about fellow employees online and getting fired. I find it kinda funny since office gossip has existed as long as businesses have existed. Now people are being let go because they decide to shoot the sh*t online so millions can read it?

Well then again, if I was twinkle toes I wouldn't want people passing by my desk saying "Hey you're the fruit loop fem guy I read about online ha ha!!"

Does anyone even read this blog to begin with?

Long time gone

I just realized my last post was back in April. Yikes! Well, to be honest with you not much has happened in that time. Let's see...

April -- Dealing with getting rid of my gardener. Nice old man but never around when you need him. Ended up buying a lawn mower and adding to my headaches.

May -- Took my nephews to Chiller Theater in Passaic. My nephew made me dish out ten bucks to take a picture with the girl who was in The Ring for about five seconds. What can I say, the kid is cute (the girl that is...)

June -- Started firing up the grill and began enjoying life beyond the stove.

July -- Went camping with the wife and amazed we made it back home alive. This year was a disaster seeing that the fire wood we had to cook with was moldy and ended up cooking everything with twigs and dried leaves. Ugh.

August -- No more grilling. After having several BBQs and eating BBQ for dinner, you realize too much of a good thing becomes tiring.

Sept -- I finally get out my job in the Jersey! End up starting a new job in the Flatiron district. Am really psyched to be back in my environment, the big city! Also realize how you forget how noisy and polluted the big city is. I used to enjoy buying cheese danishes and a coffee from the guy in the corner kiosk. Now its hard to buy that again when you have debris flying all around and the strange odors that permeate from the street gratings.

Oct. --- Have been at new job for approx a month. Have enjoyed wandering around during my lunch hour but as job becomes busier, get to enjoy less the city and find myself sitting more at my desk working late hours. Too tired at the end of the day to hang in the city and wishing to go back to my quiet little house in the burbs.

Hope to keep this updated.

Sad fish tank

My wife yelled at me last night for neglecting my fish tank.


She looked at the tank and looked at me dissaprovingly like a mother who is dissapointed in her son. I don't blame her for being upset. The tank has an overgrowth of algae and a portion of the water has evaporated. My wife mocks me telling me if the fish could talk they would be crying for help.

I feel bad for them. I acquired my fish tank during a bad time in my career. I had just quit what initially was to be a promising job which turned out to be hell and was out of work for almost a month. Needing to keep my mind occupied, I decided to get a fish tank which turned out to be therapeutic until I get my new job. Sadly my fish haven't gotten the same love and care from me since.

Nowadays, I have the tank in a sun room which isn't heated or has any air circulation. The poor fish have to tolerate the freezing winter and the stifling heat of the summer. Its even hard to forget we even have fish since we never go into this room. Its sad seeing that I initially was dedicated to my fish buying Ph kits, water balancing liquids and what not. Now they're lucky if I even remember to feed them or turn on/off their light.

I keep procrastinating to clean the tank. Its not like cleaning a dog where if you don't want to clean him you can send him to the groomer. A fish tank can get kinda nasty if you neglect it. I try to think how those poor fish feel swimming in that water that is high in ammonia levels with dead plant leaves floating about. They can't keep up with their own ecosystem since the tank is so dirty.

Oh well, time to go watch TV.

Later.

My wife and I are pissed.

The owner of one of our favorite restaurants decided to change his place from what was once all Japanese gourmet to a nouveau-French menu. Talk about a leap!

We had fair warning. We were aware that he was going to make the change a few weeks ago when we read at our table a note to all customers that they were planning to take a bold leap creatively with their menu items. They were happy with the past patronage from all their customers but felt that it was time to create new dishes that would provide a fulfilling dining experience. A tapas menu would be introduced along with a extensive wine list replacing their japanese menu and sake list.

My wife and I were kind of suprised to hear this but were assured that some things would stil be kept like the sushi menu and that the food would still keep up to standards as their current menu. We figured we'd check it out when we had the chance but for now, lets enjoy our last meal here in its current state.

So this past Friday, we drove by the new Bistro En and took a peek inside. It was opening day for their new restaurant and felt obliged to go in seeing that two waiters were looking at us with a "please come in and try the food" kind of look.

The placed looked different. The once open Japanese sushi bar had now been closed off by shutters with no view of the chefs. We had pet names for the sushi chefs who at times would come out and present to us their works of art. One guy we named Ichi, as in Ichi the Killer, as in the child-like killer who, when not cutting people in half, walked around with a sad puppy eyes.



The other chef we called the Asian Paul McCartnery only because he was what the ex-Beatle would look like if he was a Japanese sushi master. There was also "Bill Gates" - basically some nerdy looking guy who could have passed for him who was either the owner or a regular with a passion for Japanese food. Today, none of them were around or were to be seen with the shutters hiding them from our view. We were welcomed by a portly bearded man on crutches along with a young women. Both had the same black shirt with the new "Bistro En" logo emblazoned across. The scene was too odd for me to take in. I was used to my usual Japanese waiter, instead I had this cripple attending to me!

The cripple happened to be the owner who I later found out studied French cuisine and had his eyes set on converting the restaurant for years and had only done so as of recent. Prior to its recent incarnation, it had been a successful Japanese restaurant for over 17 years with several Japanese customers who worked at the local Fuji company. They would come to the restaurant during the evening and order some fish balls, chicken skewers, and dumplings along with several rounds of beer to relax from a long day doing whatever it is they did.

Their new menu had some appetizers, not really tapas which was mentioned earlier and four main dishes to choose from which the cheapest was $11. I ordered a chicken and my wife some fish. We ordered some side dishes and drinks which totaled up to $70.00 if you could include tips.

The food wasn't all that good. The chicken was just a lightly roasted half piece with french fries and much was to be said of my wife's fish. The only thing good about the food was the free bread. Every so often the waiter/owner would ask us if we had any questions regarding the new menu or if there any suggestions they could make.

Suprisingly one of the old waiters was still with the place. Initially he tried to put on a brave face but later on told us that many of past customers were upset with the change and many walked out after seeing their new menu. He wasn't too thrilled with the changes. Apart from the food that was served before, he enjoyed the atmosphere the old restaurant provided, with its you're no longer in Teaneck but perhaps in a local Japanese bar after a hard day of work. I guess that's what we liked about the place as well; it wasn't your ordinary asian face behind a counter Japanese restaurant which are a dime a dozen if you're savvy in enough to recognize them in NYC. This place had personality and a uniqueness which showed with the pride the chefs had in their food. That was pretty much gone with this new place and I guess the waiter knew that as well. You know its bad when the waiter is recommending other places to eat.

Bistros are a dime a dozen in Bergen County. I find that frustrating. One of things that annoys me about NJ is the lack of risk these restaurants take. If its not an Italian restaurant, its a diner, if not, its a bistro. Eating out in Bergen can be expensive as well and is the main reason I never eat out in Jersey with the exception of this one place which has now been taking away from me by yet another small expensive restaurant which will blend in with the other similar restaurants that are in the area. I guess the best way to put is you decide to sell a slight variation of vanilla ice cream in an area where vanilla ice cream is sold all over having switched from selling chocolate successfully earlier. Why do you want to sell vanilla if everyone else is? It's the curse of NJ I guess.

So we're left without a place to go after work for last minute dining. We've tried the diners out here and you'll have people tell you that there is one special diner you haven't tried yet but if you've been to one, you've been to all. We've tried other Japanese places in Jersey but they're either phony Japanese or they're food is not up to snuff. I'm gonna miss Ichi, Asian Paul, and maybe even Bill too. Perhaps the owner will come around to his senses and realize that he had a good thing going before. Sadly he may not realize till his current restaurant is goes down under.

Sabbatical

Took some time off from the blog. I found myself sitting here for over two hours at time trying to come up with witty things to add each day. After awhile, it wears on you.

Right now its raining outside and I'm praying that my basement doesn't flood. Being the new homeowner, how I was I supposed to know when looking at the house that the reason the basement floor look like it was because wet sealant was placed all over it? Last week we had bad rain storms and I spent half the night vacumming up water. Hoping to not do that again today. Missed the days of superintendants.

Anyway, I'm back for whoever is still reading this and hope to continue with my insights into things burbs related and what-not.

Laterz.

Sutton on Gannon

Score one for nature

Little chimpy don't like the bad man.

A hackneyed franchise deserves some recognition

Fox announced the feature trailer for Stars Wars Ep III would be shown on the March 10th episode of the OC.

I happen to come across this site promoting Lucas Is a Hack T-shirts.

I've grown to hate the Star Wars franchise ever since they introduced luggage and diners into their universe. Some things should never be messed with!

In Venice? Actually the Venetian Hotel and Casino. Locals made a big stink whenan older landmark hotel was torn down to make room for this euro fantasy theme park. They soon changed their minds once it opened to much fanfare. It does strike you kind of odd to see gondolas moving through what looks like a canal in Venice, Italy even though you're a stone throw away from walking on the casino floor.

The Startdust. Somehow you can't help feel that someone is buried underneath some concrete where this hotel was built. Supposedly, alot of the foundation on many of these hotels is so reinforced, many people suspect that the mob was trying to make them bomb proof. The Stardust and the Fronteir will most likely dissappear in a few years to make way for newer hotels somewhere down the line.

The old places are still some of the best bargains when it comes to meals. One thing you discover about Vegas is everything is expensive. Food ain't cheap and neither is the entertainment. I survived without seeing Lance Burton.

The strip at night. The lights that beam throughout Vegas can put NY's Times Square to shame. The Paris Hotel is in the background. I don't care what anyone says, there's no way you can walk from one end of the strip to the other in just a day.

Granted, you can just walk straight and see nothing and at the same time waste a vacation day. It takes a day just to walk through one of the casinos alone. Hotels like the Bellagio and Cesar's wear you out quickly.

This is one of the newer hotels on the strip. Unimpressive on the outside, Mandalay Bay is the size of two football fields (actually 64 acres) and nearly killed me. I had such nasty blisters by the time we reached the shark reef that's featured inside the hotel.

We didn't bother checking out the sharks (It looked like a rip off and my wife and relatives have already seen something similar back home.)

Waiting for the Mircorwave

This baby comes pretty close to the radiaton spreading contraption we have here at work.


I like taking my lunch at 1pm. Being here for several years, I found out its easier to get work done around noon when everyone's out to lunch and you don't have to deal with lines waiting to use the microwave.

There are some politics involved when it comes to heating up your food . For starters, people tend to hate you when you have to microwave something that takes more than 5 minutes. Some employees have no shame as they stand there greeting you as you hold your lunch in your hand and you watch the timer going 4:59, 4:58...These are the same people that add an additional 2 minutes once the microwave time is over to ensure that their food is fully nuked. The way you deal with this is taking your time responding to their e-mail inquiries.

Another issue one has to deal with is waiting on "the line." If you decide to take your lunch at noon, and you see that three people are ahead of you waiting to heat up their meals, you can average that its going to take 10-15 minutes till you're able to starting enjoying yesterday's leftovers (in my case, I had to wait 10 minutes for two Smart Ones Chicken and Fettucine and Ravioli something or other which took 4 1/2 minutes apiece). One reason for avoiding the line is having to stay in a room with someone you don't want to be with. Apart from discussing what they're heating up and making some comment about some puppy that wishes to be adopted posted on the bulletin board, there isn't much to say to that person if you spend 8 hours of your working day avoiding them in the first place.

People have tried beating the line by running to the microwave 10 minutes before their lunch hour, so by the time 12 noon strikes, they have their meal ready. Unfortunately for them, others have caught on to this and now you find lines forming aroud a quarter to noon. Some people try to avoid the line altogether by arriving on the line and leaving their food as a place holder. Some of us who are devious may be inclined to hide the person's food or scrape some of the gunk that sticks to the top of the microwave and sprinkle these horrid flakes on top of their meal. There's a reason why people say never leave your food unattended.

Sometimes, there are those akward moments when the microwave says "DONE" but the person whose food it belongs to, is nowhere to be found. In cases likes these, you have to do what you would do in a laundrymat. If you need a dryer, you take the clothes out and put your own clothes in. You deal with the person who is agitated at someone touching their food at a later time.
One thing you recognize is alot of employees are into the frozen food. I rarely touch the stuff (the Pepperidge Farms Chicken Pot Pies are an exception) since they're so high in sodium and if you have something that is labeled spaghetti and meatballs, you know you're getting more of the spaghetti and less of the latter.

I'm suprised people even use the microwave we have here. There's so much crap lining the inner walls, you can scrape it off and make some disgusting meal out of it. Seeing that there's so few options when it comes to eating out or even the cafeteria for that matter, people such as myself are willing to take our chances.

Sid

I'm not too crazy about snow. Snow is a novelty that wears out quickly living in the burbs. The beauty of a white blanket of snow covering your home quickly vanishes when the reality of cleaning your driveway dawns upon you. So here I was with hand in shovel preparing for the worst later tonight since I know I would pay for it with an aching back. As I was shoveling, I glanced up and I saw my neighbor three houses down cleaning his neighbor's driveway with his snowblower. He had already completed cleaning his driveway and his walkway. He was concentrated in his work for that morning making sure that any hint of snow was left undetectable on his property.

He's a man in his late 70's, short, with pudgy fingers, and a gravelly voice who I'll call Sid (only cause he looks more like a Sid than his actual name). Sid retired ten years ago from I don't remember what and spends his time (or in this case, his morning) waiting for things to happen. When I first moved to the neighborhood, Sid knocked on my door. He welcomed me to Teaneck and told me a little about the previous owner. (One thing I didn't want to know was that the owner past away in his bedroom, not in a hospital somewhere as we would have liked to have thought.)

He had a reputation on the block as the neighborhood watchdog, looking out for suspicious characters or to keeps tabs on everyone's pet in case one went astray. He was also a self proclaimed key guardian. Apparently, people on the block entrusted him with the keys to their homes in case they happened to lose them or if a police officer needed to get in for whatever reason. When we first moved to our home last spring, I was in the middle painting a bedroom when he knocked on my door so I still had my paintbrush in my hand which I found out was a clever excuse to give a hint to my fellow neighbors that I was too busy with something and had no time to be bothered. This didn't work with Sid. Sid kept on telling me more about himself and his lawn and insisted that my keys would be safe in his keeping.

I kindly refused his offer since I had no intention of giving an absolute stranger open reign to my new home. A long time ago, my family's apartment was robbed. We never were able to figure out who it was until one day my sister and I stayed home from school and as we were watching the Price is Right, our neighbor from downstairs comes walking from our parents room and into our living room. It was like a moment frozen in time where we both looked at one another wondering what the hell was he doing in our apartment? His excuse was that he was doing something or other on the roof and confused our apartment with his. Likely story.

Sid is often found watering his lawn before sunrise during the summer or taking out his leaf blower each morning and later in the afternoon for those few remaining leaves that are eventually blown onto the sidewalk. His garage is immaculate as he tends to it each morning at around 7am inspecting that all items are in their place. I tend to be that way at times when there's a slow day at work. I find myself organizing all my pencils and pens, fixing the position of my monitor so I get the least glare and adjusting my notes that are clipped to my wall so I have quick access to them. When weather permits, he'll take his car out of the garage and drive it around the block and leave it on his driveay. He drives it back inside when most of the neighbors are home from work.

By the time I finished cleaning my driveway at 7am, he was working on something that wasn't too clear to me. It looked like he was making sure that the snow was piled evenly along the sides of his driveway as he patted down certain snow banks. Watching him, I wondered if that's what's in store for me.

Who is Jeff Gannon?

This is a name you'll be hearing (or depending on what the media wishes to feed you) about in the next week or two until the Michael Jackson case gets rolling. It really must be a dry week for news if they (the news media) were finally able to break this story which is almost a month old now. I regret not posting anything about this sooner but count on bloggers like Atrios and other scandal loving bloggers to get the REAL SCOOP weeks in advance! I'm suprised they would post this news story on a Friday night/weekend when news coverage and interest is at a low. Then again, I'm not that suprised.

The media is holding out on the Gannon story (a hack reporter going by the name of Jeff Gannon -aka James Guckert- who was a White House plant who threw softball questions at Bush during reporter interviews with the president who had access to the White House. He was affiliated with a group dubbed GOPUSA)to eventually give you the real dirt! The only place I could find what I was referring to was in a blog called The Lavender Lounge. Be warned: there is alot of gayness going on here for you faint of heart but I promise you it is a good read! Note the image of Jeff Gannon next to Anderson Cooper. Sam Champion wasn't available for comment.

No trip to Vegas would be complete without a visit to the Laughing Jackalope. Who needs the Bellagio anyway?

You find alot of strange oddities if you take the time to look around Vegas. I regret not taking pictures upon arriving at the airport where there's slot machines waiting for you so you can throw more of your hard earned money away.

You can't help feel bad for some of these older places. They try so hard to get your dollar seeing that the bigger hotels are the main lure for many visitors there. If it wasn't for the video display that is dubbed the Freemont Experience, no one would visit the old casinos with the exception of locals and the occasional senior.

Ah... Poor Burt. I believe he's seen better times. Ok, so this isn't the Orleans (its further down the strip but the billboard looked so pathetic on top of this motel that I felt I should take a pic just so that someone out there knows its being acknowledged.

Right across the street you had the Luxor Hotel.

I was tempted to go inside Glitter Gulch. It represented everything that was seedy with the old Vegas we grew to love. There was an out of shape girl with a blond wig with tight spandex trying to lure customers in. Maybe I could have gotten directions to the Chicken Ranch.  

Everything in Vegas is lit up by lights. Even the local 7-11. This was off Freemont Street.  

Procrastination

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

The past two weeks I only entered two posts. I'm a bad boy. You would think the well of ideas would have dried up by now but it isn't that. There are moments when I just get into a funk where I just don't want to do anything. Like there's times when I do the laundry and I bring it to my room to put my clothes away but it will sit in the hamper for two weeks till its time to do the next load. Sometimes I find myself with my ID tag on from work which I've had on since 7 am and when I check the time its about 1 am and I'm still walking around my house wondering why I still have it on. Simple little things like taking off the badge and putting it away until tomorrow or taking five minutes of my time to put my clothes away seems too much of hassle.

Some people may call this depression.

I don't think I'm depressed. Yeah there've been a few things that have happened this past week to piss me off but not for me to say that I refuse to go on the blog (if anything, that's an incentive!).

Just blame it on laziness. I still have to write about my trip to Vegas and L.A. See how lazy I am? I rather bore you with the particulars me prostinating than on something that may be of interest to someone out there.

Anyway, no more goofing off (for now at least).

Gotta check on my dog to see if he hasn't taken a crap in the kitchen.

Laterz.

Cesars Palace at night 

Its been awhile

Its around 10:30 at night in L.A. and I'm sitting here waiting for a Shiatsu massage. I've kinda avoided my little blog for over a week since I've had relatives pass by last week. This week we decided to take a trip together to Las Vegas and LA. I have alot to say about Vegas and my initial reaction about traveling on the freeways here but they'll have to wait till later until I'm able to get my thoughts together (its been kinda hard getting access to a computer on vacation and there just so happened to be one here).

Get back to you guys on Sunday!

Back the vacay

That annoying doggy thingy

A amusing post by Blake Ross on his blog regarding that annoying dog that appears whenever you do a search in Windows.

One of those moments where you will look back and laugh at it all

Yesterday, I went after work to speak with an executive recruiter who had a possible job lined up for me. I went to her office and introduced myself. Here was the extent of our conversation.

me: "Hi T, we spoke yesterday regarding the part time position."

T: "Oh yes, hi 'Jose,' let me see if I can get the paperwork together. I may have to leave a little early today."

me: "My name is Julio."

T: "Sorry. Julio I remember J calling me saying they're may be an issue with your working hours."

me: "I wasn't aware of that."

T: "Let me call J and see if she's in her office Jose."

Second girl walks in

T: "Hi S, will you be here after five today?"

S: "No, I have to leave early as well. Hi Mohammed J mentioned you would be passing by."

T: "It's, Jose"

me: "No, it's Julio"

T: "Julio spoke with J regarding the part time position."

S: "I was told there was a conflict of interest and that he wouldn't be able to fill the position."

T: Jose, I'm not sure what J said re: the position, but I would confirm with her first. Unfortunately, I have to leave early, I have your resume and if something comes up I'll notify you. Thanks for taking the time come by Jose and I'm sorry things didn't work out."

S: Bye Jose, good luck!"

I drove back home and I wasn't certain if I was upset about not being able to get the job or having to deal with two idiots who can't get Julio and Jose straight.

Using the Active and Passive Voice

Right now I have my head and phone leaning against my shoulder listening to one of the many instructional telecourse offered through my company. These courses, while good, are a pain if you have to hold a phone to your head for an hour. I don't get much out of these courses apart from a neckache. The course I'm listening to now is "Using the Active Voice and the Passive Voice."

The first ten minutes are spent hearing a sucession of beeps by people in the class muting their phones (*6) or people requesting hand outs that they didn't receive (they're supposed to download it from the intranet themselves before the class). Occasionally you might hear the instructor telling a person to hit *6 since the sound of the person eating over the phone or their heaving breathing is distracting to the class.

Sometimes, I feel like I don't get much out of these telecourses. For instance, how can you learn the rules of grammar in a matter of 45 minutes? The instructor and class review several questions pertaining to a particular topic. We're expected to learn strategies in writing more effective letters to people we deal with in business on a daily basis. If you're a college graduate (a requirement for most positions in the company) shouldn't you know the fundamentals of grammar and writing in the first place? Not being able to communicate or work effectively in an office setting and having to take a course to learn these fundamental skills is like a plumber who has been working in his field for several years having to be taught the basics of his trade when he should have learned it in the first place.

I feel akward at times taking these courses since they give me this feeling that I'm at fault for not being able to work to my best capacity. The only way I can describe it is being back in high school and you're told that you were assigned to the wrong class and that you actually belong in Special Ed. (My apologies for any of you reading this who attended Special Ed. I don't mean to diss you!) These courses make me feel like I'm in the dumb class and that I have to have to keep up with the rest of the class by taking a telecourse.

I guess the reason why telecourses work so well (apart from being cheap for the company) is that the person taking the course can't see you and you can't see them thus hiding your identity and your shame for not being the perfect worker. Also, wouldn't it be uncomfortable if you had to walk into a room and sit next to your fellow employees knowing that they're looking back at you knowing you have a particular issue when it comes to being effective in the office?

Imagine you finished attending a class and horrified, you notice someone points you out to their friend in the cafeteria. The one thing you can make out from reading their lips is "he has problems in organizing his work." Business-wise, that's the equivalent of "he can't get it up."

There's some courses that I have no idea what they're about. Courses like "Think Like DaVinci" or "Think Like Einstein" are vague but sound enticing . Perhaps I''ll sign up for them.

I finally hung up the phone ten minutes ago seeing that most of the questions asked were "How do I access the site again" or "Why don't I see the telecourse handouts for March?" You can tell some people are embarrased taking these courses when they start whispering their question over the phone so that heaven's forbid they're fellow cubicle members don't become aware that they can't put together a simple sentence together. I should know, I was guilty of this in a prior class.

I thought I would learn something new but I heard pretty much what I knew already and that's the problem with these courses. Ok not really a problem but I guess people who do take these courses hope some new revelation to make them more productive as workers. Perhaps if we spent more time reviewing what we wrote before e-mailing it, or if we took the time to file things when we receive a document, we wouldn't be so concerned in taking such courses.

I'll let you know how "Think Like ____" is next time it rolls around. Hopefully I won' t be so ashamed.

12:15 am

I arrived home two hours ago. I spent most of the night staring at my computer screen at work, not doing work, but looking for a job. After awhile, I grew tired of clicking on job links that were mainly advertisments to mislead you into believing that your dream job lay just a link away. Most jobs offered "Amazing opportunities" or "Immediate openings now!" I applied to a few hoping that perhaps somewhere, a human resource manager will weed through the thousand e-mails he/she receives and will stumble across mine.

By 8:30 I went to the parking lot and stepped into my car not to drive home but to drive anywhere but. There are those moments when you don't wish to go directly back home seeing that you spent most of your day behind your desk at work. I need to justify it by driving aimlessly at night hoping that I will stumble across something interesting.

In Jersey, there aren't many interesting places to see, particularly at night. Most people go indoors by 6pm having no place to go apart from a neighbors home or cozying up on your own couch in your own home to watch the evening news. I've been cooped up in my house for the past few weeks. It's been too cold to go just about anywhere and you hope the weather will warm up so you can at least take the dog out for an extended walk instead of ushering him out to the backyard to do his business.

Tonight though was a suprisingly warm night (40 degrees) and I wanted to see people and the only place you see people at this time of night is in urban neighborhoods like Paterson or Newark. I drove down Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. wondering what makes people inclined to stand in front of the corner grocery store in thirty degree weather. Driving by, they gave me the eye telling me with their look that I don't belong there. I eyed them back, giving them the look that that I was warm in my car.

There are several streets named after promiment African-Americans like MLK Jr. and Rosa Parks (Ave.) which is lined with little private houses and several unidentifiable factories where garbage is strewn around. Turning back onto MLK Jr. Blvd. I passed a White Castle. It has a drive thru with several cars lined up. By the pick up window, what appeared to be a homeless man stood next to it hoping that a sympathetic driver would donate one of their small burgers but unfortunately for him he didn't luck out.

Driving back home, I can't help thinking about White Castles and start singing this little song going to the tune of Frosty the Snowman:

White Castle burgers
they are so fun to eat
they feel good in my tummy
they are such a tasty treat

White Castle Burgers
they're only eaten by the finer class
if you decide to eat in McDonald's
your burgers will be laced with glass

White Castle Burgers
they have such amazing food
no other place can beat them
from suburbs to the hood

Oh, those burgers are so great
and the waiting tickets are so cool
if they pass your number its too late
boy, don't you feel like such a fool?

White castle burgers
they come in value meals
with some burgers, soda, and some fries
the price is just a steal

White castle burgers
they must be heaven sent
I observe the burger all year long
particularly when its Lent

White castle burgers, White Castle Burgers
you are so divine
White castle burgers, White Castle Burgers
get your hands off them bitch, they're mine!

I sang this several times changing the verses occasionally, seeing what sounded the most silliest in order to occupy the time driving back home. Now that I think about it, I've been sitting in front of a computer monitor for about 13 hours.

Suprisingly, this post took me an hour to write (its now 1:10 am). I'm going to bed and tomorrow I'll stare at my screen some more.

Nighty nite (or good morning).

Happiness is a Hotpocket

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

I've taken it upon myself to start taking a more positive approach to living out in the burbs. So far, the few comments that I got here along with those I received in person is that its a bit of a downer reading my post. People find them depressing, they are quick to point out grammatical errors, and they don't get the obscure references in my humor. When I attempt to explain my humor, I'm further questioned on the use of the reference to the relevance of it in the joke.

Why the obscure reference to Hotpockets? I just like them.

Moving right along:

So I took the initiative of working on my house today with my wife so I can get in touch with my suburban self. I took pride in removing the mold from the ceiling of my bathroom and made sure that I found a special place in my cabinet for my Windex with vinegar. This was one of the several different varieties of Windex alongside the Fantastick that you can find in Pathmark which had a special in their circular and thankfully I had my Pathmark Savings card! These little purchases with this card will some day get me a free turkey. Just $195.00 more to go.

I'm also coming to terms with driving out here as well. You do get this twisted sense of power when you're driving on a shitty day and as you wait on the red light you can't help but feel your life is so much better than these poors bastards waiting at the bus stop for a bus that will never come. Ok, maybe that's not a good example.

Clothes shopping is fun in the "Jerz" (yes, I've picked a pet name for my new hometown). My idea of shopping back in Queens was going to the city and checking out a few stores before settling with Old Navy (I'm cheap that way). Kohls is now my new best friend right off of Route 17 North. There's nothing wrong in driving 15 miles to get a great pair of Hanes briefs.


Yep, me and the burbs are getting along just swell. Yeah. Jerz. Mm hmm...

Accentuate the positive. Accentuate the positive.

Word of the day

Word of the day is:

crunk

Used most notably by Randy Jackson on American Idol when he told a young contestant to put on his false gold teeth.

"C'mon man, put your crunk on!"

More words to come.

What does a Mexican drinking a Corona, watching Al Jazeera on his Sony TV all have in common?

Apple has been labeled most influential brand by a survey of 2,000 people.

What I find interesting is the list of influential brands from other parts of the world. Asia, for instance has Sony, Samsung, LG, and Toyota as some of the popular brands with consumers. Central and Latin America on the other hand, has Cemex, Corona, Barcardi, Bimbo, and Vina Concha y Toro on their list.

Isn't it amazing that three out of the five items are alcohol? (The other two are cement and bread.) What does that say about us as latinos? That we spend our days drinking (and mixing cement)?


That's right papi! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Photo opinions

The weird thing to come out of this pic that was posted on 1/27/05 was that no one had any idea I touched the picture up until they read my post afteward.

It wasn't my sick appearance in the photo that didn't clue them in, they thought I actually looked like that photo!

I found that quite disturbing particularly my mother who said, "it looks like you made the nose bigger and that's about it."

Thanks mom.

Jesus is everywhere!

I'm not one to poke fun at Jesus but I am fascinated with sites that put a spin on anything related to him.

Jesus definitely rocks but don't understand why he'd want to crowd surf though...

Picture this!

Apparently there are some of you who were concerned with my state of being after being shocked at my appearance with the picture I posted on 1/27/05.

Just so that you can breath easily, I doctored the picture up in Photoshop. If I actually looked like that, do you think I'd advertise it to the world? It seems that certain people have a lack of a sense of humor. And no, its not self torture; its being able to laugh at yourself. You have to be able to find the humor in your situation especially in those moments when you may not feel like laughing.

So peeps, ease up ok? Otherwise, you can go and visit some other site.

I wish this complaint was posted as a comment on the blog (which was my point to begin with) instead of having to hear it. Some peeps are just techno phobes.

Gift or curse?

Happy birthday to me

Since I started this blog, I don't get out as much. At first, it was a healthy enough hobby, keeping me occupied on those days where just staring blankly outside my window wasn't my only means of entertainment. The blog was a healthy release for my thoughts and for those to keep track of what I've been up to out here in no man's land. As the winter has become colder, somehow things went kinda awry as I found myself spending more time behind a keyboard. It was bad enough that I work at my desk for seven hours a day with little or no movement apart from the occasional walk to the water cooler. Now I rush home to and sit behind my PC at home for about two hours trying to brainstorm topics for my blog.

Its especially hard when you're not certain if people take the time to actually read these dopey entries. People have no idea how much thought goes into writing a post mocking shows from VH1, Spongebob, or cafeteria workers. I haven't made dinner in quite some time either. The past few days I've been eating my raspberry Entenmann's cake with milk right during dinner. Before the snow storm, it was Ball Park franks and whatever remaining nacho chips I had laying around with salsa dip that was brought along with us from Queens a year ago. I think its ok to eat it as long as its refrigerated.

I never had herpes so I'm not sure whats the story behind these blisters on my lips.

Yeah, so I need to spend less time trying to amuse you guys and a little more me time. As you can see, I really need it.

Thats why tonite I decided I would use my time more productively by watching the remaining first round contestants on American Idol. Don't know about you but I can never get enough Randy Jackson!

Fast Company released their list of the top 25 jobs for 2005.

Publishing didn't make the cut. Afraid to see what list that made.

Oscar pics

I’m one these idiots that likes to handicap the Oscars. I've gotten pretty good with them through the years so I figured I'd share my predictions with you. I also like to bore the shit out of people with my nonsense.

Here are my predictions:

Best Picture

THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
FINDING NEVERLAND (Miramax)
MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
RAY (Universal Pictures)
SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)

I’ll say its going to The Aviator. Those old farts at the Academy who vote, like Ernest Borgnine (or whomever), like big biographical epics like Ben Hur. It also doesn’t hurt that you have a big name director behind the helm. This is a safe vehicle and they won’t snub this Scorcese film like they did with Gangs of New York.

Achievement in Directing

Martin Scorsese for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Clint Eastwood for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Taylor Hackford for RAY (Universal Pictures)
Alexander Payne for SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)
Mike Leigh for VERA DRAKE (Fine Line Features)

I’ll say that this is also going to Martin Scorcese. They’ve ignored him for some time and being that he hasn’t done a controversial film that doesn’t involve violence or crucifixions, it’s a safe bet he’s getting this baby. Clint Eastwood has a few and the Academy won’t bother giving him another. The other nominees are irrelevant.

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Don Cheadle for HOTEL RWANDA (United Artists)
Johnny Depp for FINDING NEVERLAND (Miramax)
Leonardo DiCaprio for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Clint Eastwood for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Jamie Foxx for RAY (Universal Pictures)

This is going to be a toss up between Don Cheadle and Johnny Depp. There’s no way Leonardo DiCaprio is going to get the Oscar. Last time, wasn’t he all pissed off and refused to attend the ceremonies since he wasn’t nominated? Jamie Foxx has no chance.

In the end, I’ll say Johnny Depp since the Academy likes him and he has a big enough body of work behind him that they may feel he’s earned it about now. Besides, they like good looking, big name stars presenting for next year.

Best Supporting Actor

Alan Alda for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Thomas Haden Church for SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)
Jamie Foxx for COLLATERAL (Dreamworks SKG)
Morgan Freeman for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Clive Owen for CLOSER (Columbia Pictures)

Clive Owen is out of the picture. So is Jamie Foxx. C'mon, this guy who used to dress in drag on In Living Color, remember? The same show where J'Lo was a flygirl! Alan Alda? What were they thinking? Who was he again on MASH? Radar? Whatever.

In the end I’ll say either Thomas Hayden Church (since Paul Giammatti was snubbed) or an Academy favorite, Morgan Freeman whose good in any film he stars in.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Annette Bening - BEING JULIA (Sony Pictures Classics)
Catalina Sandino Moreno - MARIA FULL OF GRACE (Fine Line Features)
Imelda Staunton - VERA DRAKE (Fine Line Features)
Hilary Swank for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Kate Winslet for ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (Focus Features)

Watching these for the past several years, I’ve noticed that underdogs tend to win best actress. That’s why Imelda Staunton is gonna win. They like that image of watching some lady with some dress she bought with whatever savings she had go on stage. Next year she’ll wear Vera Wang.

Best Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Laura Linney - KINSEY (Fox Searchlight Pictures)
Virginia Madsen for SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)
Sophie Okonedo - HOTEL RWANDA (United Artists)
Natalie Portman for CLOSER (Columbia Pictures)

Cate Blanchett. Any moron can see that. They like an actress whose dignified to win these awards not some nobodies.

Best Animated Feature Film

THE INCREDIBLES (Disney/Pixar)
SHARK TALE (Dreamworks SKG)
SHREK 2 (Dreamworks SKG)

Incredibles. Disney. End of story.

Disagree? Feel free to comment.

Miss Jones from the Hot 97 radio station thought it would be amusing to make fun of the plight of millions suffering in South East Asia by doing a song parody of “We Are the World.” The audio of the song parody can be found on Asian Media Watch.

The station has since issued an apology but it appears to have come too little too late.

Here's one verse from the song parody:

"There was a time, when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan.
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away.
And all at once, you can hear the screaming chinks.
And no one was saved from the wave.
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away.
You can hear God laughing, 'Swim you bitches swim.'

[Chorus]
"So now you're screwed. It's the tsunami,
You better run and kiss your ass away. Go find your mommy.
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head.
And now your children will be sold. Child slavery."

Someone at the radio station wasn’t thinking when they allowed this nonsense to air.

Check out the site, file a complaint and feel that you’ve done some good.

Blizzard of 2005: Anwers to question you may have had

1. Yes, it snowed a lot around my house
2. It snowed approximately 16 inches
3. It started snowing at noon and picked up around 4pm.
4. We (i.e. my wife and I) went out early to buy groceries
5. I stepped out at 2 pm to buy wine and I don’t remember what.
6. I stepped out yet again at 3:30 to buy junk food
7. Junk food I bought was an Entenmann’s Raspberry Danish cake and Pepperridge Farms Cookies (the one with jelly).
8. Yes, I wore layers including thermal underwear.
9. Yes, I took my time driving.
10. I spent the afternoon reading the rest of the Scarlet Pimpernel
11. We had soup for dinner (ox-tail)
12. Yes, the ox-tail was fresh and not sitting in the fridge all this time.
13. I went out and shoveled snow at about 8pm.
14. I only shoveled the front driveway
15. Yes, I made sure to bend my knees so I wouldn’t hurt my back.
16. It took one hour to clean.
17. I went to sleep early that night (11 pm)
18. The next day we dug out the snow going to the backyard.
19. No, I didn’t go driving in the snow
20. My basement flooded and I cleaned it up immediately
21. Yes, I moved all items away from the water.
22. Yes, I have an idea what caused it.
23. Yes, I was being careful.
24. Yes, we took the dog out for a walk
25. No, we had to carry him because the salt was burning his paws.
26. Yes, we had the remaining soup for dinner.
27. Yes, I am happy to have a garage even though I didn’t put the car inside.
28. and finally yes, I went to work and all the snow was cleaned off the highway.

Love/Hate Relationship

I enjoy using Blogger but it sucks eggs using it on OSX. It takes forever for posts to load, you have to hand code as opposed to using the icons that help format text, ah.. the list goes on.

Don't know if anyone of you who bother to reading this blog have the same problem.

Goddamn sleek looking system!

Now my sidebar is appearing on the bottom of the page! When will it end!!!

update:

Checked on the PC and of course it looks fine. Grr....

I love the Millennium!

I mentioned in earlier post how much I hate VH1’s I Love the 70’s, and 80’s . At first it was cute reliving memories of the Son of Sam, the blackout of 77, and Jonestown with a bunch of has-beens. Something went horribly wrong in the idea offices of VH1 when someone suggested keeping this train wreck of a show going with their current program (the 90’s). Isn’t still too early to be reliving this decade? Aren’t we only five years away from it? I guess it won’t be long till we see, you guessed it: I love the Millennium!

Here’s how it will pan out:

Celebrating New Years 2000

Some unheard of comedian: We were all supposed to be so excited since this would be the last new year celebration for the 20th century (shoot to Dick Clark). What people didn’t realize was that this would be the first and last time Prince’s 1999 would be relevant.




Yugoslavia

Token black guy who grew up in the suburbs: Remember that dude Slobodan Milosevic? Man, that dude was crazy! I don’t know about you but some man come up to me and tells me that federal elections are over with and he’s installing autocratic rule, I’d say he’s crackers! (Shoot to Croatia and Bosnia)


Some white girl with glasses no one’s ever heard of:
People forget his pet name: “Slobo” C’mon, any guy who contributes to continuous warfare and break ups of Croatia and Bosnia has to earn that name. Milo doesn’t sound as harsh. You think puppies, like Milo & Otis.




Elian Gonzalez

Nebbish looking nerd attempting to look hip: One of the positive things to come out of the Elian Gonzalez incident was that more people became aware of black beans with rice and Cuban sandwiches.





Fast forward to 2001:



Defribilators offered on Airlines

Typecast Hispanic actor holding a defliberator: What is this thing?

Girl in her mid thirties still dressed as in her early twenties: Yeah this was an important milestone in aviation history. Now passengers didn’t have to worry about the risk of having a heart attack in case there flight fell from the 20.000 feet. A great device to have around I must say.


September 11


White girl with glasses: What I remember most about 9/11 was not being able to grab a cab to Brooklyn. Now do you expect a girl to walk across the Williamsburg Bridge in heels?

Token black guy who grew up in the suburbs: So these terrorist guys went out to a strip club the night before and got some action. (shoot to stock footage of a strip club) I guess they couldn’t wait for the 7,000 virgins that would be waiting for them in the afterlife.



White girl again: Wasn’t it amazing that they picked 9/11 to attack us? I mean what a coincidence that 911 is number to dial in case of an emergency! Do you think people found the irony in dialing that number the day of the attack? Also, they picked a date where the number “11” actually appears like two towers. Someone wasn’t on the ball in the White House if they didn’t figure this one out. A sad day for the nation, a great day for graphic designers.




Fast forward to 2004-5:



Outsourcing:

Unheard of comedian: Man, all you heard of was my nice cushy job is gone or I can’t support my family! Lighten up peeps! Walmart is expanding at a record pace and they’re salaries are higher than the nation’s minimum wage. Buncha cry babies.

Typecast Hispanic guy: Outsourcing? What was that? Some offshoot of Outback Steakhouse?

White girl: You know the only people who didn't have to worry about losing their jobs in this country were those involved in nanotechnology and actors/comedians. I try to ignore the hype about the rise of Bollywood. If we talk more about it here, it will all go away.




Blogs:

Unheard of comedian: What was it with these blogs? Out of nowhere people started posting crap that no one would ever read or respond to. People posted in the millions trying their best at being witty about events around the world pointing out key events in the world or odd happenings with dry sarcasm. Blogs will be what 8-tracks were for the seventies.

White chick: We’ll be looking back and ask, “Why were most non-English blogs always in Portuguese?” Some things were never meant to have an answer.

I love the Millennium:

Token Black guy: Remember watching those dumb shows on VH1 where no talent hacks would attempt to be funny by talking about things they didn’t know about and that didn’t matter such as Oreo cookies, double entrendre involving Oscar Meyer wieners, or bad-mouthing Different Strokes?

Unheard of comedian: Man I loved this show! Its good to be part of a dynasty and in good company with the likes of Moe Rooca, Vince Neil, Dee Snider, that straight guy who plays a gay on that show on cable, and that girl who writes humor on that magazine somewhere.

Snow Day

Portrait of the artist as a young snow shoveler along with his assistant

I could have told you this

On my to read list:



A recent book came out called Nation of Rebels : Why Counterculture Became Consumer Culture

The authors argument is today's counterculture that aims to fight against the "man" and what he represent (mass- globalization, consumerism, marketing, etc.) is in fact perpetuating these same ideals within their own culture and within the consumer-dominated world. The author's state that in order for progressives to make change happen, it needs to be on a grand scale. Take global warming. Results won't come about by recycling cans alone but through mass consensus of foreign powers we make a difference that will benefit everyone. In cases such as this, they contend that conformity has its good points.

I suppose it does to a certain extent. More kids focus on how other kids perceive them in school by their actions, clothing, or cliques. I imagine kids are still getting their ass kicked for their $200 dollar sneakers or the cell phone they're carrying. Proponents of dress-code in schools will say wearing a school uniform helps build individuality by stripping kids of items of luxury and allowing them to cultivate their independence and not relying on symbols of what is fed to them by mass-consumerism.

I'd like to think that my way of thinking or being is not influenced in some way by some marketing firm or by some corporate executives who forecast what the next trend will be. Don't you find it odd that sometimes you feel you're the only one in the know when it comes to something such as noticing something you hear in a song or perhaps watching a particular program and you feel you are one up on everyone to find out later that everyone was thinking the same way you were!?

A great example of this is I Love the 70s, 80s, and 90s on VH1. You have a show that talks about things that were part of the counterculture in a pop-culture manner. I find these shows unbearable to watch despite my initial addiction to them when they first came around and I guess that's part of the problem. You're basically watching a show that you think you can only relate to but the show wouldn't be on if everyone else couldn't relate to it as well.

First have to start reading Godfather Returns before I can even start on this. For all I know, I can be talking out my ass.

Spongebob Fancypants?

Is this child being indoctrinated into the Klan or into evil hedonistic homosexuality?


Apparently Spongebob, Sesame Street, Barney and some other children's show characters are advocating homosexuality through a remake of Sister Sledge's We are Family. Some right wing Christian groups claim that they are actually promoting homosexuality to youth and are a cover for the We Are Family Foundation.

It all makes sense now. Patrick is somewhat of a flake. He's pink and a walking phallic symbol despite being shaped like a starfish. Squidward has very gay-like hobbies such as playing the clarinet and Spongebob, like his neighbors, is single and lives alone with his pet snail (or in gay terms: his cat). They all live in a place called "Bikini Bottom" as in "I'm a power bottom."



The choice of song is strange to begin with. For starters, wasn't We are Family pretty much a gay anthem during the early 80's? Now I can be reading too much into this but doesn't the Christian right have the right to shield their children's eyes away from such things?

It appears the church has had it out for Spongebob for some time but with the help of famous sinner/producer Nile Rodgers (he was part of the Satan worship group Chic) has helped in showing the true nature of these cartoons. People tend to forget some of the anti-semitism and racism that was prevalent in early Warner Bros. cartoons. The difference here is networks are promoting god-hating ways such as men fornicating in the grass somewhere on the Great Lawn in Central Park away from the view of some park ranger taking a donut break because its so bitterly cold in the city and he wishes he wasn't such a cheapskate for not buying the large cup of cocoa instead of the small which was only 25 cents more.

I can go on forever but somewhere Yahweh is shaking his head in dissapproval. Hopefully someone will start talking about He-Man and his fixation with animal erotica.

Departmental birthdays.

Today we celebrated department birthdays. There was a time when I actually enjoyed them, particularly those times when you’re flat broke and you know you can look forward to your fellow employees bringing in lots of food for the occasion. As time went on, and you celebrate more birthdays, you find yourself taking count of who continues to show up to these. Your fellow employees who once started out with you are either no longer with the department or have moved on to bigger and better things. You find yourself celebrating birthdays with people over 50 who have been with the company since its heyday.

Now there’s nothing wrong with sharing your birthday with people older than you but you can’t help but contemplate your own mortality at that point.

So this year, monthly birthdays rolled around and as usual, my boss’ assistant gathered people around the usual spot. I heard them singing in the back of the office, “Happy Birthday…” which I was hoping to avoid by raising the volume on my Itunes on my Mac. Eventually someone dragged me over and of course I had to play dumb saying “Oh yeah…we’re doing January birthdays today. Sorry about that guys!” What made it particularly eerie was the toy hamster they had that shakes its hips and sings happy birthday to you. People actually waited for this thing to finish singing!

The boss’ assistant told me she sent an e-mail asking people in the department whether or not they wanted to continue celebrating these on a monthly basis since there is that feeling that people tend to care less about the fact that they're getting older. I told her I thought it was a rhetorical question.

After blowing out the candles and taking in some grub, I got the expected questions about how old I would be next week. I told them I wasn’t sure at the moment and that they should refer to my blog. Everything would be answered there and they could read about my meltdown in progress. Of course, I told them this half-jokingly and got some good laughs out of it.

Walking back to my desk, the guy next to me told me he was turning forty two next month. I felt kinda guilty afterwards; here I was talking trashing about going on forty in a few years and this guys is standing next to me not saying a word. He did say though that its not that bad. Who knows, maybe he’s right. I remember freaking out when I was close to turning thirty. Actually my thirties were way better than my twenties so lets see how this pans out in a few years. Gonna go and grab a stale cookie or whatever is left back there.

You light up my life - now let me hit something!

We have been going crazy trying to find the right light fixtures to put in our home. We have been researching online as well as jumping from store to store looking for that fixture that will forever be present once the switch is turned on.

One of the nice things about living in the old apartment back in L.I.C. (that's Long Island City, by the way) was living with whatever fixtures the super left for us. We weren't planning on throwing cash down on making decorative renovations so that some other person would enjoy what we left for them. I was cool with that and my too to some extent. We both looked forward to the day we would have our nice Co-op apartment in Astoria/LIC and we could fix it up as we wished.

Meanwhile back in Teaneck...

So we went ahead and bought all these light fixtures to eventually find out that they are all too big for the areas they are to be placed in. What is it with these houses with low ceilings? I'm even limited to the type of light fixture I can get without taking the risk of hitting my head against it.

According to my wife, she's says I'm exxagerating. Let's see after I have black and blue bruises on my noggin.

Recurring dreams

I keep having these recurring dreams about the catholic school I went to ages ago. It's always the same dream: I'm trying to enter the school building and I'm only allowed into the front lobby. For some reason, I'm trying to go into the classrooms as if I'm trying to find something I left behind but the people that work there don't allow me. Others are allowed to pass except me. In the dream, I'm at my current age. Perhaps there's another way to get in.

I remember there's another entrance where we used to line up for assembly and I watch the kids go inside and I follow them. The walls are a bland green marble just as they were when I was attending with old class photos featured throughout the hall.

In other dreams I'm granted a tour but something comes up to prevent me from going, or I'm allowed to speak with one of the nuns.

I have no idea what it means. I used to have recurring dreams like visiting Europe which finally ended the day I actually went traveling to Spain. I thought visiting it would stop the dreams but they keep coming back.

My friend and I went to visit the old school over the summer walking around the building, talking about where we used to run around before assembly started and how we used to go to the park across the street during lunch time. I don't think there's old ghosts that I need to let go of. As far as I remember, I had nothing but good memories.

When I went back to the Bronx the day I flipped out, I went driving around the school . Didn't really stop, just drove by like checking if anything had changed, like if construction was being done or something. It was still the same like over the summer.

I'm trying to remember now what were some things that would trigger these dreams? There was Sister Helen, who was one of those modern 70's nuns who didn't wear the nun's uniform and who always carried an acoustic guitar; she was more like Joan Baez than a nun. I remember my class going on a trip which my parents were too cheap to pay for (it was only $10). I had to sit in her classroom watching her students singing "Day by Day" from Godspell. If you found one kid driftng off, she'd smack him across the head and tell him to keep up with class. There was a rumor going around that she cracked the lunch bell on one of the kid's heads. Doubt this ever happened but great story!

There was Mrs. Rosenberg (didn't think of the name till now: "Rosenberg" in a Catholic school?) who was a sweet lady who loved the kids and it was in her class where I went on my first class trip to the Bronx Zoo. It was also the first time I saw my fellow classmates without their school uniforms but in regular clothing which was weird. You get used to seeing a person in a tie and blue slacks all the time.

I remember clearly the day I left my school bag on the bus and I was half way to school when I realized it. I tried in vain to run after the bus and was gonna crap my pants once my parents found out. Anyone who went to Catholic school knows that your parents pay for the books you use and all the school equipment. I'd just received my first Our Lady of Angels school bag (which looked more like a bowling ball bag) but I thought it was cool and hear I was losing it like an idiot! Thankfully my parents didn't go off on me. Then again, that was so long ago, it was possibilty they may have.

I asked the resident dream interpreter here at work what these dreams may mean. According to him, I'm possibly trying to revert back to a time where I was safe and comfortable. Something is holding me back from entering the school and perhaps its my acknowledgment of responsibilities that prevents me from doing so.

I found this on the Dream Dictionary:

Dreaming that you are in school means feelings of inadequacy and childhood insecurities that have never been resolved. It may relate to anxieties about performance and abilities. You may also be going through a "spiritual learning" experience. If you are still in school and dream about school, then it will naturally serve as a backdrop to your dream world. Alternatively, a dream that takes place in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life.

Another recurring dream I have is of bridges.

Initially I dreamt of old dilapidated bridges that looked similar to the Brooklyn Bridge and the only means of getting across was walking along this beaten path that had so many twists and turns it appeared more like a labyrinth.

Those dreams eventually stopped and I recently been having dreams of bridges again but this time they appear as a state of the art bridge from some architects design but either they are too narrow to drive across or they are impossible to walk across due to the material that was used construct it.

When I do manage to walk across the bridge, everything appears in a thick fog making it difficult to see what is on the other side.

Dream Dictionary states the following:

Dreaming that you are crossing a bridge means an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. Dreaming of a run-down bridge indicates that you should not contemplate any major changes in your life at this time. Dreaming of a bridge collapse indicates that you have let a great opportunity pass you by.

Dreaming that you are going through a thick fog means much confusion, troubles, scandal, and worries. You may not be seeing things the way they really are or you may have lost your sense of direction in life.

So what I get from this is that I'm pretty much going through a pre-mid life crisis and if I don't do something now, I'm only going to get more neurotic as times goes on.

Question is, what to do about it? Now may be a good time for self reflection. Catch you guys later.

A birthday story - Part 2

After pleading with her to get in the car to go out to eat, she wanted nothing to do with me. She wouldn’t hold my hand, answer me or even look in my direction. Man, was I taking this too far? All would be good once we reached the restaurant. Being the evil bastard that I am, I told her I would make it up to her on Christmas which was two weeks away.

“Christmas?! My birthday isn’t on Christmas! How many weeks did you have when you were sitting on the couch watching your TV or going online could you have taken one evening after work to go out and get me something for my birthday? It’s only one day out of the year. I don’t ask for much and you can’t even do that! I know why you came home late now. You did this to get back at me for coming home late from work these past few weeks, well, are you’re happy now?”

Man, you have no idea how badly I wanted to get to the restaurant and just get this over with. So we get there and I’m still trying to hold her hand and she’s avoiding me like the plague. We get seated and I’m watching her staring blankly at her menu trying her best to avoid looking at me. I figured now would be a good time to spring into action. I pretended to go the bathroom and asked the waiter to bring out a slice of cake later to wish my wife a happy birthday. Next I went back and told her I thought I might have left the car doors open. Now, wouldn’t you get the hint that something was up; it’s like when your mom or dad tell you to go up to your room otherwise Santa can’t deliver the presents under the tree. She didn't give a crap and said coldly, “Whatever.”

I entered the restaurant again with gifts and card placing it behind her chair since she was oblivious to my presence and too busy finding other ways to hate me. Finally I had to end it and told her to turn around and lo and behold, she saw her gifts and the birthday card I made for her. She started reading the card and started laughing then crying. It was at this point she said to me “I never realized how shallow I am” which I had to shake my head yes to. I wonder, would she have come to this same conclusion if I had not gotten her anything? At that moment it didn’t matter since I’d rather have her laughing with me instead of having her shoot daggers with her eyes in my direction.

The clincher of course was the dessert which the chef brought out which made her feel even more miserable. Wow! What a way to make your loving wife feel horrible about herself on her own birthday!!

I got her some beauty products from one of her favorite stores in the city which she liked but told me later that I happened to get her beauty products last year for her birthday. (One other thing to remember guys—women are never satisfied with what they have or in this case get.)

We had a nice dinner despite putting my wife through mental anguish and having her contemplate divorce.

Last lesson I can give you guys is learn how to say apologize profusely when you’ve done something wrong (especially when you post a story like this one for everyone to read. Once she finds out, I’m dead meat!).

Taking off for MLK

Didn't have to work today due to MLK B'day. People b*tch and moan when they no longer get Columbus Day off but they sure are happier than pigs in sh*t once MLK roles around.

Anyway, plan on observing the holiday painting. Yay. How exciting. Will write more on Tuesday to recap the weekend.

Later.

A birthday story -- Part 1

Seeing that I’ve hinted about my birthday (don’t know why since I’m not looking forward to it) I thought now would be a good time to tell you about my wife’s birthday last month. It’s a good lesson for you guys out there who plan on getting involved with someone to learn the do’s and dont's in a relationship.

My wife has high expectations when it comes to her special day. She likes being spoiled with gifts, dinner, etc. Now I don’t blame her considering I’m the only person she has around (it’s a long story). Of course I was aware of her birthday a month in advance learning my lesson from previous relationships that girls expect guys to remember key dates:

1. their birthday
2. their anniversary
3. Valentine’s Day
4. the day they first met
5. the day they broke up and got back together again (sick as it sounds, it’s true!)

Seeing that I was on top of my game, I had nothing to worry about since I had her gifts in advance and I was trying to earn some extra brownie points by making her a birthday card (another thing to remember: girls like guys who put some effort into a relationship otherwise just getting a card is not “romantic” enough)

Need to provide a little background here: Since we moved to the burbs, it has made my commute easier whereas it has made my wife’s a living hell. You'll see why I mention this later.

On this particular day, she made certain to come home early. I came home late wrapping up the finishing touches on the card. Eventually, I arrived home, having ready my dinner plans and surprising her later with gifts that were in the car trunk.

So the first thing I hear when I get home is “Hi hon, (looking at my hands) where are my presents and why are you home so late?” At this point, I thought it’d be amusing to yank her chain a bit. (Another lesson for you guys, sometimes you can’t always give in to your significant other. Sometimes you have to keep them waiting otherwise they expect things right up front.)

I put on my best poker face and told her I was running late and was unable to buy her anything for her birthday. Notice how I said “BUY” and not “GET.” I knew this would irk her. Still not believing me, she kept looking around as if her gift would magically appear. Too funny! At this point I told her we would go out to dinner to make up for the lack of gifts this year to which she replied “You know it’s my birthday! I don’t ask for anything all year and I can’t believe you don’t even bother to get me at least flowers!” This was pretty good but I wasn’t sure how long I could pull this off. Maybe she would cool down on the way to the restaurant. I guessed wrong. Ouch!

--to be continued

I had a moment last night.

I had a moment as in reaching my boiling point where I have just about had it with living out here in the middle of what I consider nowhere and having no human contact whatsoever. The thing that sparked this moment was pasta sauce.

One thing you need to know about living in the burbs is you sacrifice convenience. You no longer can just walk to the supermarket or your local bodega if you don’t happen to have the key ingredient for a meal, if you want to go out and get a late-night snack, or if you get off the subway on your way home to buy something for dinner.

What sucks is if you live in the burbs, every freakin store is over a mile away (unless you live in a hip area like Edgewater or Hoboken or if you happen to live in the not so great parts of Paterson or Newark). I came home after going to the Super Stop and Shop (never even heard of the place till I moved out here) to realize that I forgot the pasta sauce. Ever have those moments when you’re looking through your fridge or pantry and pray by some miracle you have some condiment you forgot and by luck, you find it in the corner of the cupboard? No such luck here.

It sucks once you’re in your nice warm home to have to go out again just because you forgot to buy the $%! sauce. When I was living in Queens, I’d say screw it and walk to the corner bodega and yeah, pay a little more than what it cost at C-Town but at least I didn’t have to walk two extra blocks. Now I have to drive a mile just for freakin sauce!

What’s worse is that Super Stop and Shop is the most expensive supermarket in the area. I remember when we were first looking at houses my agent pointed out the Super Stop and Shop saying, “Yeah its convenient, but go to the Pathmark instead.” She failed to mention that you have to get on the highway and drive 3 mile to go to Pathmark! At this point, did I really care about getting ripped off? Did I care back then that I was being overcharged at the bodega? Where does it say you have to eat spaghetti with pasta sauce? My mom would use butter and garlic if we had no sauce! But no! How can you have turkey meatballs with butter (despite my doctor telling me to cut all this crap out to begin with and eat more veggies in my diet)?

Doesn’t it seem funny to you when you’re waiting at the register and you see some lady with a cart filled with crap to point where the items she has are spilling out of her shopping cart? I bet you she doesn’t run out of pasta sauce!

So yeah, I had a moment when my wife came home and she asked me if I was all right which I answered no, I wasn’t. I needed to get the hell out of the house before I pulled a Shining. I took a ride to the Bronx with the Ipod, parked the car and walked past every bodega muttering under my breath that they have no idea how lucky they were to be able to walk from the lobby of their building and walk into their local store to buy Mazola corn oil or a Table Talk Pie. The only thing I can find if I even make an attempt to venture out to “Main Street” is kosher pizza.

Eventually I calmed down and did some breathing exercises I saw one morning on TV. I apologized to my wife for scary the crap out of her and went to bed.

I don’t want to say I hate it out here (ok, maybe a little) but I am finding it hard adjusting. I’m used to sidewalks, open 24 hour stores, and having a Dunkin Donuts. Do you know there is no Dunkin Donuts in Teaneck apart from the one that is on Route 4? You have to travel to next area in Bergen County to get a doughnut. Don’t know whether to laugh or throw my keyboard against the wall.

Mac mini

By now, everyone has heard about the new Mac that was announced at MacWorld Expo.

Birthday is coming up soon.

While doing some research on everything anti-suburbs, I came across this essay by Alex Marshall. It's one in a series from his book, How Cities Work.

This particular essay is about my old haunting grounds: Jackson Heights, Queens.

I'll add it to my sad list of links. Jet Li Website is now no longer alone.

More tiny changes

You don't need to sign up for blogger.com to leave a comment anymore so feel free to say whatever is on your mind. Working on fixing the comments so that they're more user friendly.

Added an RSS feed to the site as well.

Hippie Goddess

Came across this site (don't ask me how) but I'm amazed at what gets people off sexually. You hear about fetishes: feet, butt, boobs, clothing; there's also some real twisted stuff that freaks are into which I won't go into here but of all things would you be thinking hippies?

Having gone to several concerts, I'm witness to what you would call these modern day wanna-be hippies. Its funny to watch them, particularly when a band starts to jam. Imagine watching footage from a Woodstock movie, the scene when Santana is on stage and there's this guy in the audience on some LSD trip flailing his arms about like some whirling dervish except its at a Rush concert! Never thought you could groove to 2112? This guy sure showed you could!

I also saw this recently at a Pink Floyd Tribute band show. Its like they're not sure when its appropriate to dance like a freak. Can you picture a guy whigging out to Comfortably Numb? The guy moves his hips slowly a'la Axel Rose style up to the part where David Gilmour would sing and voila! The guy starts getting into this weird trance like state, meanwhile Joe Guido next to him is giving him a good look over to follow him to his car once the show's over to give him a good beat down for constantly getting in his way of watching his favorite tribute band.

This is what you'll find on Hippie Goddess (***for you peeps prone to reading this at work, yes the link IS an adult site!***) or as they proclaim:

"Natural Hairy, Dreadlocked Hemp Wearing Barefoot Earth-loving Goddesses Turn you on? Your not alone! Natural IS Sexy!"

Each girl has their description, like Ripple and India who are described as follows:

Beware the games of fairies. Beware the pranks of leprechauns. Laughter ringing out in a meadowy glade with no source to find. Tiny foot prints on virgin snow. Such is the spirit of the ever playful who walk between the worlds in the land of fairies.

or as my favorite girl, Sky the Goddess of Innocence:

On this earth we promise she is indeed over 18! But in the worlds of the Goddess she is the childlike wonder and youthful magick that lives within us all. She is the sprite and the leprechaun playing pranks and laughing in tinkling musical melody. She is the hope of life.

Now I don't know about these girls. Notice how they're all by a beach and look pretty clean (with the exception of their hair). Not to place labels but most of the chicks I've seen at these shows look like they haven't showered in some time. To each his own.

Man, you know things are going downhill when I'm spending my time talking about some porn site. Gotta go back and finish chapter 4 of Pimpernel.

Boozin

Went to the liqour store and bought some wine. Thank God I had my booze intake! Felt like I've been kinda nasty these past few days without the vino. It was kinda hard especially during the holidays not to have at least a little drink during dinner time. Bought an Angeline Sonoma County Merlot. Felt like a crack fiend chugging it down with my dinner.

They say living in the suburbs leads to more drinking. Then again, I think I said that. I remember that episode of the Simpsons when Marge lives in her dream home where everyting is done for her and she has nothing left to do but drink wine.

While having my fix I read a birthday card that was sent to me by my real estate agent. Its one of those birthday cards illustrating key moments in the year you were born. Lets see:

Nixon is the first President in 120 years to face Congress controlled by opposition.
California is hit by heavy rains; mudslides cause extensive damage.
The Saturday Evening Post ceases publication.

Hey, check this out: Scooby Doo, Where Are You? and Sesame Street debut!

The average income was $9,433 (not that much of a difference)

And last but not least, on January 1969, Julio Espin was born! Happy Birthday from J Quigley, your exclusive agent.

That's real touching. I think I need another drink.

Resolution Part 1

Started one of my resolutions this year by taking out some books from the library. Its pretty damn embarassing when my wife is able to read 5 books in a month while I'm sitting on my ass watching Divine Design on HGTV. I find Candice Olsen kinda sexy. She has a quirky personality and she's tall as an Amazon. There has to be some Candice worship site around and I'm aiming to find it!

Well here are the two books I'm reading so far:
1. The Scarlet Pimpernal
2. The Toy Collector

From the little I read so far on the SP, I find it kinda odd that someone would write about a hero rescuing a bunch of aristrocrats during the French Revolution. A bit pretentious if you ask me.

Unfortunately I got sidetracked reading City Hunter. Hey, I have to dumb down every so often you know!

I never realized how annoying Philip Glass could be until I listened to Music in Twelve Parts. This is a funny song parody I found courtesy of Mari Aranoff Duncan


Once I heard music that gave me gas
It was written by Philip Glass
Credits include some big movie scores
But it's B.S. - His music bores

Once I heard film music that was divine
It was written by Elmer Bernstein
Glass writes arpeggios all of the time
Mind-numbing crap, musical crime

Lots of folks say they find it pleasant
But I must make jokes 'cause his stuff is cheesy
I could write like that – it would be so easy to
Just copy that incessant droning spew

I'll express that all the repetition
Is a cause of stress
When a sane musician has to play in that mess
A very dang'rous mission, yeah

"Koyaanisqatsi," "Einstein on the Beach"

Next time I can, I will take a pass
On hearing music by Philip Glass
And maybe I am being unkind
But Mr. Glass, Kiss my behind!

Saw this other filed under "Pretentious Prick Music"

Baby Talk

My wife and I have been having talking lately about having a baby. Actually its been more her than me. I don't know what's stopping me from wanting to have a kid. I've been throwing around excuses for some time now such as there's no point in raising a child in a world where there will be no social security available to him/her by the time he/she is our age. I'm not certain if we could afford to have a kid. Let's face it, I don't have the highest paying job and I barely get by with what I'm left with. How can I expect to raise a kid with the mere pennies I'm left with each month? There's also the Peter Pan complex to consider too. I'm just an immature going on 36 years old adult. I still watch cartoons and I race home to see whats new in Asian cinema online. My priorities as you can see are not all there.

I want to make an attempt to change not just for myself but for my wife and yes one day for a kid. My wife though is right at that time where if we don't have a kid now, we're taking risks later.

I look at my friend who I went to visit during the holidays. He's pretty much like me: an overgrown infant with a wife that wishes he would do more constructive things with his time. They raised a child in a small basement apartment along with her mother in law living with them at the same time. He pretty much told me, "If we can do it, you can surely raise a kid."

I found his words most encouraging. His philosophy is that you find ways to get by and when your child needs something, there's no way you won't be able to provide for him/her. I can tell there's a little friction when they talk about household matters but you can see they truly love each other and they truly love their daughter who is adorable. Someone else told me that its a small portion of you and a portion of your partner that you love dearly and that culminates into someone you will treasure.

OK...that's enough of the corniness for now. There are no guarantees in life so who knows whats in store. For all I know we just may end up with another dog.

Ghost of the past

I'm always amazed how the right wing is always able to put a spin on topics to deflect attention from their problems. This time its putting a spin on the appointment for attorney general Alberto Gonzalez and somehow relating this to Mary Jo Kapechne.

Cluck you

Funny but interesting site about how most animals taste similar to chicken.

I'm a snail.

My wife was asked once what type of animal does she herself as. She answered that she would be an eagle that would soar through the skies and was an animal with few predators. She asked me what I saw myself as. I told her a snail. A snail can curl up in his shell and take his time to where he needs to go. She wasn't too thrilled with the response which was my intention to begin with but I think she still feels that I was serious about my response.

I don't blame her. I've given her reason to believe I'm a snail. I'm amazed at how much she has accomplished within a year. She left an agency which she helped to establish to move onto a higher paying job which has allowed her to stand apart from other employees as someone who takes action and makes things happen. She finished her certificate in Business at Baruch College, and has taken an evening course in public speaking apart from her regular classes.

I can't say I have been as active. I'm still at the same job and haven't taken any of the classes I promised myself I would take.

Really need to remove this snail stigma.

Helga, the evil eurocraut counterperson

Each morning I go through my routine of going to my company’s cafeteria and getting my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is an interesting opener to an entry. Peanut butter and jelly. How much simpler does it get than that? The basic necessities of man are within man’s reach, fiber, protein, and carbohydrates. Not only does it provide sustenance but its yummy as well. So what is a man to do when a pompous Gestapo-like eurotrash gets in the way of you and your sandwich?!? I had such an experience not too long ago.

So here I was preparing my PB&J and bringing it up to the counter. Normally I would pay 35 cents for a sandwich when this lady who I will call Helga (I have other names for her which I won’t mention here) declares that the sandwich is 64 cents! I took a double take when she repeated it so matter-of-factly.

I told her: “Excuse me but I normally pay 35 cents for this sandwich.”

To which she replied, “If your sandwich has peanut butter, then the sandwich is 64 cents.” She stared me down waiting for my reaction and eyeing the people behind me as to giving me a hint that she had no time to negotiate something she thought she knew was right and that she had other customers waiting.

I wasn’t going to give her the pleasure of taking my additional 31 cents so I left the sandwich by the register and walked away in ghetto mode muttering to myself, “I’m not paying 64 cents for some stupid ass sandwich! Who the hell do they think they are?”

I decided I would fight it and bring in my own sandwiches and not give in to these corporate cafeteria services that are limited in the meals they provide. The food here truly sucks. This past Christmas season our company had a holiday luncheon where the food comprised of mainly starches (holiday egg rolls, baked potatoes, potato fritters, yams, bread, mashed potatoes, and turkey which was basically heated up turkey cold cuts). The pie, which I think was cherry, had a pinkish hue and when you ate it, did not taste anything like pie should taste like and would not wish on my most hated enemy.

I’ve visited other company’s cafeterias and was floored by the variety of food that is offered and the quality of what is served. It’s amazing the crap they serve and to top it off they have the audacity to ask for more money in return?? The only thing that is safe to eat in that place turns out to be a PB&J sandwich and they want me to pay more for something that is the simplest item on their list of crap??

Eventually I went back. It was hard to give in but when you’re hungry at 9 am you have few options (especially when you work in an industrial park like setting). There she was in an empty cafeteria. She was like a monolith, overseeing her territory. There was no way of getting around just making my sandwich and paying the initial 35 cents I was used to paying. She would look down at the bread and declare, “64 cents please.” Damn you, Helga!

I have to admit, I was a bit sneaky sometimes. Sometimes I would time my visits to the cafeteria knowing that around 9:30 when people are still procrastinating the food court would fill up allowing enough time to toast my bread and at the same time get a scoop of PB&J and placing it in a cup which I would later sneak into my pocket. I have to say it was bit exciting. I guess it's the same feeling a shoplifter would have looking about making sure no one is watching you as you place the container in your front pocket nonchalantly. It was even a greater thrill watching Helga’s confused face as I proudly placed the toast in front of her. She would inspect the bread the same way a customs officer would inspect luggage and would say tersely “35 cents.” It was like being Brad Davis in Midnight Express but only getting away with it!

I kept this charade going for a few weeks till finally my conscious got the best of me. I was compelled to break her and have her announce that as of this day all PB&J would be 35 cents but I knew that wasn’t going to happen so I gave in and starting paying it up front even though when I did, I would mumble “…peanut butter and jelly on toast.”

I had my sandwich this morning but to my surprise she wasn’t in. One of the old guard was in standing in for her. She charged me 35 cents to which I happily paid and wished her a happy morning. It tasted pretty good this morning. I hope Helga gets transferred to some other industrial park food court. Today was a minor victory. There will still be other Helgas around in some shape or form.