Photo opinions

The weird thing to come out of this pic that was posted on 1/27/05 was that no one had any idea I touched the picture up until they read my post afteward.

It wasn't my sick appearance in the photo that didn't clue them in, they thought I actually looked like that photo!

I found that quite disturbing particularly my mother who said, "it looks like you made the nose bigger and that's about it."

Thanks mom.

Jesus is everywhere!

I'm not one to poke fun at Jesus but I am fascinated with sites that put a spin on anything related to him.

Jesus definitely rocks but don't understand why he'd want to crowd surf though...

Picture this!

Apparently there are some of you who were concerned with my state of being after being shocked at my appearance with the picture I posted on 1/27/05.

Just so that you can breath easily, I doctored the picture up in Photoshop. If I actually looked like that, do you think I'd advertise it to the world? It seems that certain people have a lack of a sense of humor. And no, its not self torture; its being able to laugh at yourself. You have to be able to find the humor in your situation especially in those moments when you may not feel like laughing.

So peeps, ease up ok? Otherwise, you can go and visit some other site.

I wish this complaint was posted as a comment on the blog (which was my point to begin with) instead of having to hear it. Some peeps are just techno phobes.

Gift or curse?

Happy birthday to me

Since I started this blog, I don't get out as much. At first, it was a healthy enough hobby, keeping me occupied on those days where just staring blankly outside my window wasn't my only means of entertainment. The blog was a healthy release for my thoughts and for those to keep track of what I've been up to out here in no man's land. As the winter has become colder, somehow things went kinda awry as I found myself spending more time behind a keyboard. It was bad enough that I work at my desk for seven hours a day with little or no movement apart from the occasional walk to the water cooler. Now I rush home to and sit behind my PC at home for about two hours trying to brainstorm topics for my blog.

Its especially hard when you're not certain if people take the time to actually read these dopey entries. People have no idea how much thought goes into writing a post mocking shows from VH1, Spongebob, or cafeteria workers. I haven't made dinner in quite some time either. The past few days I've been eating my raspberry Entenmann's cake with milk right during dinner. Before the snow storm, it was Ball Park franks and whatever remaining nacho chips I had laying around with salsa dip that was brought along with us from Queens a year ago. I think its ok to eat it as long as its refrigerated.

I never had herpes so I'm not sure whats the story behind these blisters on my lips.

Yeah, so I need to spend less time trying to amuse you guys and a little more me time. As you can see, I really need it.

Thats why tonite I decided I would use my time more productively by watching the remaining first round contestants on American Idol. Don't know about you but I can never get enough Randy Jackson!

Fast Company released their list of the top 25 jobs for 2005.

Publishing didn't make the cut. Afraid to see what list that made.

Oscar pics

I’m one these idiots that likes to handicap the Oscars. I've gotten pretty good with them through the years so I figured I'd share my predictions with you. I also like to bore the shit out of people with my nonsense.

Here are my predictions:

Best Picture

THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
FINDING NEVERLAND (Miramax)
MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
RAY (Universal Pictures)
SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)

I’ll say its going to The Aviator. Those old farts at the Academy who vote, like Ernest Borgnine (or whomever), like big biographical epics like Ben Hur. It also doesn’t hurt that you have a big name director behind the helm. This is a safe vehicle and they won’t snub this Scorcese film like they did with Gangs of New York.

Achievement in Directing

Martin Scorsese for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Clint Eastwood for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Taylor Hackford for RAY (Universal Pictures)
Alexander Payne for SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)
Mike Leigh for VERA DRAKE (Fine Line Features)

I’ll say that this is also going to Martin Scorcese. They’ve ignored him for some time and being that he hasn’t done a controversial film that doesn’t involve violence or crucifixions, it’s a safe bet he’s getting this baby. Clint Eastwood has a few and the Academy won’t bother giving him another. The other nominees are irrelevant.

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Don Cheadle for HOTEL RWANDA (United Artists)
Johnny Depp for FINDING NEVERLAND (Miramax)
Leonardo DiCaprio for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Clint Eastwood for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Jamie Foxx for RAY (Universal Pictures)

This is going to be a toss up between Don Cheadle and Johnny Depp. There’s no way Leonardo DiCaprio is going to get the Oscar. Last time, wasn’t he all pissed off and refused to attend the ceremonies since he wasn’t nominated? Jamie Foxx has no chance.

In the end, I’ll say Johnny Depp since the Academy likes him and he has a big enough body of work behind him that they may feel he’s earned it about now. Besides, they like good looking, big name stars presenting for next year.

Best Supporting Actor

Alan Alda for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Thomas Haden Church for SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)
Jamie Foxx for COLLATERAL (Dreamworks SKG)
Morgan Freeman for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Clive Owen for CLOSER (Columbia Pictures)

Clive Owen is out of the picture. So is Jamie Foxx. C'mon, this guy who used to dress in drag on In Living Color, remember? The same show where J'Lo was a flygirl! Alan Alda? What were they thinking? Who was he again on MASH? Radar? Whatever.

In the end I’ll say either Thomas Hayden Church (since Paul Giammatti was snubbed) or an Academy favorite, Morgan Freeman whose good in any film he stars in.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Annette Bening - BEING JULIA (Sony Pictures Classics)
Catalina Sandino Moreno - MARIA FULL OF GRACE (Fine Line Features)
Imelda Staunton - VERA DRAKE (Fine Line Features)
Hilary Swank for MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Warner Bros.)
Kate Winslet for ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (Focus Features)

Watching these for the past several years, I’ve noticed that underdogs tend to win best actress. That’s why Imelda Staunton is gonna win. They like that image of watching some lady with some dress she bought with whatever savings she had go on stage. Next year she’ll wear Vera Wang.

Best Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett for THE AVIATOR (Miramax)
Laura Linney - KINSEY (Fox Searchlight Pictures)
Virginia Madsen for SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)
Sophie Okonedo - HOTEL RWANDA (United Artists)
Natalie Portman for CLOSER (Columbia Pictures)

Cate Blanchett. Any moron can see that. They like an actress whose dignified to win these awards not some nobodies.

Best Animated Feature Film

THE INCREDIBLES (Disney/Pixar)
SHARK TALE (Dreamworks SKG)
SHREK 2 (Dreamworks SKG)

Incredibles. Disney. End of story.

Disagree? Feel free to comment.

Miss Jones from the Hot 97 radio station thought it would be amusing to make fun of the plight of millions suffering in South East Asia by doing a song parody of “We Are the World.” The audio of the song parody can be found on Asian Media Watch.

The station has since issued an apology but it appears to have come too little too late.

Here's one verse from the song parody:

"There was a time, when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan.
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away.
And all at once, you can hear the screaming chinks.
And no one was saved from the wave.
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away.
You can hear God laughing, 'Swim you bitches swim.'

[Chorus]
"So now you're screwed. It's the tsunami,
You better run and kiss your ass away. Go find your mommy.
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head.
And now your children will be sold. Child slavery."

Someone at the radio station wasn’t thinking when they allowed this nonsense to air.

Check out the site, file a complaint and feel that you’ve done some good.

Blizzard of 2005: Anwers to question you may have had

1. Yes, it snowed a lot around my house
2. It snowed approximately 16 inches
3. It started snowing at noon and picked up around 4pm.
4. We (i.e. my wife and I) went out early to buy groceries
5. I stepped out at 2 pm to buy wine and I don’t remember what.
6. I stepped out yet again at 3:30 to buy junk food
7. Junk food I bought was an Entenmann’s Raspberry Danish cake and Pepperridge Farms Cookies (the one with jelly).
8. Yes, I wore layers including thermal underwear.
9. Yes, I took my time driving.
10. I spent the afternoon reading the rest of the Scarlet Pimpernel
11. We had soup for dinner (ox-tail)
12. Yes, the ox-tail was fresh and not sitting in the fridge all this time.
13. I went out and shoveled snow at about 8pm.
14. I only shoveled the front driveway
15. Yes, I made sure to bend my knees so I wouldn’t hurt my back.
16. It took one hour to clean.
17. I went to sleep early that night (11 pm)
18. The next day we dug out the snow going to the backyard.
19. No, I didn’t go driving in the snow
20. My basement flooded and I cleaned it up immediately
21. Yes, I moved all items away from the water.
22. Yes, I have an idea what caused it.
23. Yes, I was being careful.
24. Yes, we took the dog out for a walk
25. No, we had to carry him because the salt was burning his paws.
26. Yes, we had the remaining soup for dinner.
27. Yes, I am happy to have a garage even though I didn’t put the car inside.
28. and finally yes, I went to work and all the snow was cleaned off the highway.

Love/Hate Relationship

I enjoy using Blogger but it sucks eggs using it on OSX. It takes forever for posts to load, you have to hand code as opposed to using the icons that help format text, ah.. the list goes on.

Don't know if anyone of you who bother to reading this blog have the same problem.

Goddamn sleek looking system!

Now my sidebar is appearing on the bottom of the page! When will it end!!!

update:

Checked on the PC and of course it looks fine. Grr....

I love the Millennium!

I mentioned in earlier post how much I hate VH1’s I Love the 70’s, and 80’s . At first it was cute reliving memories of the Son of Sam, the blackout of 77, and Jonestown with a bunch of has-beens. Something went horribly wrong in the idea offices of VH1 when someone suggested keeping this train wreck of a show going with their current program (the 90’s). Isn’t still too early to be reliving this decade? Aren’t we only five years away from it? I guess it won’t be long till we see, you guessed it: I love the Millennium!

Here’s how it will pan out:

Celebrating New Years 2000

Some unheard of comedian: We were all supposed to be so excited since this would be the last new year celebration for the 20th century (shoot to Dick Clark). What people didn’t realize was that this would be the first and last time Prince’s 1999 would be relevant.




Yugoslavia

Token black guy who grew up in the suburbs: Remember that dude Slobodan Milosevic? Man, that dude was crazy! I don’t know about you but some man come up to me and tells me that federal elections are over with and he’s installing autocratic rule, I’d say he’s crackers! (Shoot to Croatia and Bosnia)


Some white girl with glasses no one’s ever heard of:
People forget his pet name: “Slobo” C’mon, any guy who contributes to continuous warfare and break ups of Croatia and Bosnia has to earn that name. Milo doesn’t sound as harsh. You think puppies, like Milo & Otis.




Elian Gonzalez

Nebbish looking nerd attempting to look hip: One of the positive things to come out of the Elian Gonzalez incident was that more people became aware of black beans with rice and Cuban sandwiches.





Fast forward to 2001:



Defribilators offered on Airlines

Typecast Hispanic actor holding a defliberator: What is this thing?

Girl in her mid thirties still dressed as in her early twenties: Yeah this was an important milestone in aviation history. Now passengers didn’t have to worry about the risk of having a heart attack in case there flight fell from the 20.000 feet. A great device to have around I must say.


September 11


White girl with glasses: What I remember most about 9/11 was not being able to grab a cab to Brooklyn. Now do you expect a girl to walk across the Williamsburg Bridge in heels?

Token black guy who grew up in the suburbs: So these terrorist guys went out to a strip club the night before and got some action. (shoot to stock footage of a strip club) I guess they couldn’t wait for the 7,000 virgins that would be waiting for them in the afterlife.



White girl again: Wasn’t it amazing that they picked 9/11 to attack us? I mean what a coincidence that 911 is number to dial in case of an emergency! Do you think people found the irony in dialing that number the day of the attack? Also, they picked a date where the number “11” actually appears like two towers. Someone wasn’t on the ball in the White House if they didn’t figure this one out. A sad day for the nation, a great day for graphic designers.




Fast forward to 2004-5:



Outsourcing:

Unheard of comedian: Man, all you heard of was my nice cushy job is gone or I can’t support my family! Lighten up peeps! Walmart is expanding at a record pace and they’re salaries are higher than the nation’s minimum wage. Buncha cry babies.

Typecast Hispanic guy: Outsourcing? What was that? Some offshoot of Outback Steakhouse?

White girl: You know the only people who didn't have to worry about losing their jobs in this country were those involved in nanotechnology and actors/comedians. I try to ignore the hype about the rise of Bollywood. If we talk more about it here, it will all go away.




Blogs:

Unheard of comedian: What was it with these blogs? Out of nowhere people started posting crap that no one would ever read or respond to. People posted in the millions trying their best at being witty about events around the world pointing out key events in the world or odd happenings with dry sarcasm. Blogs will be what 8-tracks were for the seventies.

White chick: We’ll be looking back and ask, “Why were most non-English blogs always in Portuguese?” Some things were never meant to have an answer.

I love the Millennium:

Token Black guy: Remember watching those dumb shows on VH1 where no talent hacks would attempt to be funny by talking about things they didn’t know about and that didn’t matter such as Oreo cookies, double entrendre involving Oscar Meyer wieners, or bad-mouthing Different Strokes?

Unheard of comedian: Man I loved this show! Its good to be part of a dynasty and in good company with the likes of Moe Rooca, Vince Neil, Dee Snider, that straight guy who plays a gay on that show on cable, and that girl who writes humor on that magazine somewhere.

Snow Day

Portrait of the artist as a young snow shoveler along with his assistant