A birthday story -- Part 1

Seeing that I’ve hinted about my birthday (don’t know why since I’m not looking forward to it) I thought now would be a good time to tell you about my wife’s birthday last month. It’s a good lesson for you guys out there who plan on getting involved with someone to learn the do’s and dont's in a relationship.

My wife has high expectations when it comes to her special day. She likes being spoiled with gifts, dinner, etc. Now I don’t blame her considering I’m the only person she has around (it’s a long story). Of course I was aware of her birthday a month in advance learning my lesson from previous relationships that girls expect guys to remember key dates:

1. their birthday
2. their anniversary
3. Valentine’s Day
4. the day they first met
5. the day they broke up and got back together again (sick as it sounds, it’s true!)

Seeing that I was on top of my game, I had nothing to worry about since I had her gifts in advance and I was trying to earn some extra brownie points by making her a birthday card (another thing to remember: girls like guys who put some effort into a relationship otherwise just getting a card is not “romantic” enough)

Need to provide a little background here: Since we moved to the burbs, it has made my commute easier whereas it has made my wife’s a living hell. You'll see why I mention this later.

On this particular day, she made certain to come home early. I came home late wrapping up the finishing touches on the card. Eventually, I arrived home, having ready my dinner plans and surprising her later with gifts that were in the car trunk.

So the first thing I hear when I get home is “Hi hon, (looking at my hands) where are my presents and why are you home so late?” At this point, I thought it’d be amusing to yank her chain a bit. (Another lesson for you guys, sometimes you can’t always give in to your significant other. Sometimes you have to keep them waiting otherwise they expect things right up front.)

I put on my best poker face and told her I was running late and was unable to buy her anything for her birthday. Notice how I said “BUY” and not “GET.” I knew this would irk her. Still not believing me, she kept looking around as if her gift would magically appear. Too funny! At this point I told her we would go out to dinner to make up for the lack of gifts this year to which she replied “You know it’s my birthday! I don’t ask for anything all year and I can’t believe you don’t even bother to get me at least flowers!” This was pretty good but I wasn’t sure how long I could pull this off. Maybe she would cool down on the way to the restaurant. I guessed wrong. Ouch!

--to be continued